Le Bonheur :) Happiness =)

Where did you find that? I've been looking for that forever? ...I made it myself

Last week, for the first time in months, I interacted with my personal Facebook account to share a meme I saw from a French page I follow.

One person says to the other, "Where did you find that? I've been looking for it forever!

The other person, who is holding a jar of Happiness sais, "I made it myself."

This struck me for a number of reasons.

First of all, I'm pleased with myself for being able to translate it. For the past three years I've been working really hard, daily, to improve my French language skills. Between DuoLingo (which I completed recently), daily French songs and gobs of francophone podcasts, French movies, and books in French - like Harry Potter!, I'm feeling pretty good about it.

On the surface, it's just nice to see my lessons in action. Of course, the big test is when I go to France or some other French speaking country. This past February, we visited Marseille and I did pretty well. Each day I get better.

The deeper part of that, though, is that my being able to translate that is the meme itself in action. I've had French language in my life since I was a little girl, and studied it in high school and college, but when my partner and I went to Paris in 2022, my skills...but mostly my confidence in my skills...were not what I had hoped or expected. And without confidence, practice isn't effective. But it's like that just out of school trying to get a job that requires experience condundrum. You need to practice to gain confidence, but you need confidence to gain real world practice.

Well. You make it. You can call it "fake it", too. But, it's kind of the same thing in practice. For me, I learned more by going up to a French person, telling them I was practicing French, and then leaning into the fumbling. I might not have had the confidence in my language skills, but I had confidence in my intentions to learn, my skills of etiquette and being polite, and in the French who really do appreicate it when you at least start with Bonjour (much like us!)

In 2022, in Paris, after 9 months of half-assed DuoLingo learning, I was still too scared to try to speak French. I didn't learn language skills on that trip, but got frustrated enough with myself that I vowed not to have that experience again.

For the next 2 years or so, I knuckled down. DuoLingo, a French teacher (who happened to live in a city in Montana not far from where we had just moved), and the other things I listed above. In short, I created as much of a French experience for myself as I could. I made my own French happiness.

This year, then, when we went back to France, I had more confidence.

In my attempts to ask about the boulliabase in a restaruant in Marseille, and the best young adult books for me to read in a bookstore, and the train passes we needed to visit Nice, I learned and retained gobs. Sure, I sweated in weird places and stuttered and made lots of mistakes, but my vicitims were so great about it. And I can't wait to go back (hopefully next year) and fumble some more.

The second thing about that meme that struck me was how much this idea lined up with other things I've been reading and working on outside of just my language skills. I mean, we all know that the internet is listening and then the algorithms plop stuff on the screen that it thinks we want or need. That's the robot overlord version of the my belief that I stole from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It roughly goes like this:

If you want something bad enough, the universe will conspire to make it happen, you just have to follow the signs.

It's like, when I'm ready for a big change in my life, I say it outloud, outside. Something like, "Ok, Universe. I'm ready for a new career." Or, when I was single, in Missoula, and ready to try again I went for a walk and said out loud, "OK, Universe. I'm ready for a relationship."

The thing, though, is that I still have to do the hard work. I have to make all the lists and diagrams about what I want, what it might look like, what my deal breakers are, and so forth. I had to take all the steps to make space in my life for being a massage therapist, or opening a wine bar, or starting a new relationship. When I want big change, I have to do it myself. What the Universe does, is highlight those things that will move me along on that path.

If your life is anything like mine, change happens a lot. If I tally the days and moments, which I don't because I have better things to do, there's probably more change happening than status quo. If things are changing, to be very honest, then I feel like I'm doing it wrong. Change, to me, is growing as a person and learning something new every day. I don't seek it out. I allow space for it. And because change happens so often, I have to pay extra special attention to my foundation. My foundation, of course, is happiness. And, if I want happiness, I have to create it in myself and for myself. Other people may come along that enhance it, but the foundation of it is mine. Because if they go away, I want to still be happy.

In the past several months, I've been focusing on those things that make me happy. For you, I'm sure they're different. But I'll give you an idea of mine.

-To write every day. I NEED to write. Like, I feel like I'm falling apart if I don't write. So that's a journal entry, or pages in the book I'm working on, or this blog, or some other writing project.

-To run or workout every day. This also is a need. My body hurts if I don't move it and strengthen it. And I get squirrelly, crazy, moody, if I don't. It's for my physical and mental health.

-Eat anti-inflammatory foods. In order to write and run, I need to avoid brain fog and painful joints. There's more to it, but that's the jist.

-Get outside. I can do all of those otherthings outside, so this should be easy. Some days it's not, but it's a requirement.

So, four things. That's what I NEED for my own personal happiness, every single day. My job, since I recognized those things as important to me, is to make space in my day to accomplish those things.

That's how I make my own happiness. At least, my foundational happiness. The extra jimmies (those sprinkles for ice cream and cupcakes, ya know?) are my partner, my cats, my friends. Those things enhance the happiness I create for myself.

How about you? What do you NEED to be happy? Truly happy. Foundationally. How can you make space to make that happen?